I am happier today, but also bored.

Ok, JMF, I may not be genuinely friendly, but I think I'm a good person. ...right?

I'm looking forward to dinner with JMF and FOA and SSN. Like geniuinely excited for it. I easily tire of people, which is why I don't go out and socialize every freaking night like some of my colleagues. Also, because I have a dog and a girlfriend who will always like me more than the myriad fakey fake lobbyists who I hang out with here in town.

Anyway, tonight I get to go out with people I actually enjoy, JMF and FOA, and SSN who I'd probably like if I'd spent more than a few seconds talking to her but honestly I don't know her that well at all. And I get to go to Glen Eagle's, where I haven't been since the NSA reception earlier in the year. There are only, say, two things on the menu I can eat but they're tasty. Plus we can get wine.

Anyway, I'm excited for that. Also, I've got a party coming up on the 5th of June, the day after session supposedly ends, in the evening at the Brew House. A lot of people have RSVP'd already. People I haven't seen in a while because of legislative session.

AND my new phone showed up at the house already today. When the lease is there, I'm going to go and pick them both up and spend my afternoon doing paperwork and such. Fun Times!

Ooh, a "bill raggio is old" joke

edgy. really edgy.
I think I may live-blog this.

dts

Third House

This is lame.

jmf

Annie and Urkel

So, I forgot to mention that I met Annie. And while I haven't met the special friend . . . or fiance (which I'm assuming based on my instinctual recognition of the presence of a ring on the specified finger) of FOA, I did see him . . . I think . . . from behind . . . in committee one day. I wasn't paying much attention to him but later Liane asked if I saw him, and I said no, and she said he was sitting right in front of you, and I said ok, well I remember there being a guy I didn't know sitting in front of me but I wasn't checking him out or anything. So anyway, I think I've at least seen him. This all makes me sad and lonely. I think I may go back to Urkel. I should stop calling her Urkel. Her name is Constance (or Connie, or Jeannie, or Cee Cee, or CJ). She's been acting right lately. Dating sucks.

jmf

I Hate Everything Too

I'm sick of Carson City. I'm sick of the Carson Plaza. I'm sick of Mary Henderson living above me with her husband and two dogs (actually, I never hear them really but I'm still sick of it). I'm sick of being told things that only Carson Citonians believe like "black babies don't bruise" or "your people don't know prejudice like my white ancestors do." I'm pretty sick of law enforcement mocking me about racial profiling as if I'm a race monger when in actuality, they are mostly bully, ignorant red necks who know profiling exists but can't quite see why its wrong. Ladies and gentleman, I am Grumpy Smurf.


With all that said, I am thrilled to have been a part of this whole circus. It will be painfully difficult to go back to my normal job. It will NOT be painfully difficult to move back home to my house where my mother does not live. It will NOT be painfully difficult to spend some time with the doggies. It will NOT be painfullyh difficult to go to Rosarito with the fellas or on a cruise to Mexico. Well, it might be painful at times, but it will be fun.

I think I want to run for office. No, I know I want to someday. Just not sure when or where. You can't . . . well, I can't just partipate from an arm's distance and not want to dive in deeper. WHAT AM I SAYING? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?? I'm in hell and I'm talking about intentionally moving to the more hot part of hell. It's a sickness people, a sickness.

By the way, FOA, buy some of those stylish classical dancer shoes and you will smile all the time. Well, they weren't exactly stylish . . . nor classical. . . . and I don't think she was even really a dancer. . . and you will probably frown while wearing them . . . nevermind. The thought was funny for a second.

I love Hazel the lobbyist. I don't know where that came from. I don't even know her. But she just walked by. I've heard she's pretty anti man. Not lesbian, but anti man, bitter, angry, Stella hasn't gotten her grove back yet, diary of an angry black woman kind of anti man. You know, the whole "to the left, to the left" Biance bandwagon sort of thing.

Joe Turco is a moron I think. He just wandered onto the floor, presumably not wearing his tag so the police didn't recognize it and tackle him like the dufus he is. That would have been fun to watch. Anyway, he went to speak with Munford, knocked Munford's sign on to his desk, spilled his coffee on Munford's newspaper, kept talking while Munford scrambled to not get coffee on himself, and then walked away waving like he was a friggin prom queen. A moron, I think.

What is Orenschall always doing that he's in a hurry with lots of things in his hands, sweating? I love the guy. Afterall, he's a lawyer in training, and he goes to Boyd, and to be honest, even when he was mad at me for something the county made me do, he has been super nice to me. He's just always in a hurry. I guess he's just got stuff to do and we need to not get in his way. He's about the most genuinely nice guy I've ever known.

No offense DTS. You're not genuinely nice. Nor am I, although I can manage to give that impression easier than you. By the way, speaking of being genuinely nice, DTS helped a brutha out when he was flustered today. I felt like a 2nd grader having his hand held while being walked to the little boys room. It helped though . . . thanks!

Wait, I'm supposed to be Grumpy Smurf. I have a headache, and have an increasingly hard time getting up in the morning. It could be wine at D'Vine's every other night. I'm starting to despise that place too. ARGHHH! The same ol places every other day! It's killing me. I can sum it up in one word.

BALLS.

jmf

Fresh on the heels...

...of Little Miss Sunshine's little anti-everything tirade, I'm afraid I'm in agreement. I've enjoyed lobbying. I really like my job. I like the meetings. But I'm tired. And today, I'm sick, sick, sick and that makes me very -- very pissy.

I'm tired of the little teeny-bopper clique of children of important lobbyists. I'm tired of the cadre of staffers who all want me to help them find jobs after the session is over. And I'm sure as hell tired of people asking me if I'm related to the Shaver Construction People.

For the record, I am not related to the Shaver Construction People. I am, however, related to the Shavers who were in charge of engineering for Pullman Rail. I'm pretty sure they brought in machine gun turrets to mow down striking workers.

So, no, I guess not everybody in my family is a pro-labor as I am.

Anyway, I'm pissy because I'm sick. And my friend is texting me and asking me if I want to go to Mo & Sluggo's with the other 900 people after this. No. No i do not. A Thousand times no. And so I tell her "no." And, as if it hasn't occured that I have friends and whatnot outside of this building that I'm leaving in about 9 days, she asks me why.

Why? Like it's any of your business, that's why.

Ok, I guess that's not entirely fair. I mean, friends are friends and oft don't take into consideration your other friends when looking for social interaction. But I'm very much inclined to say "because I don't like you that much" in my reply.

Because I'm sick. And I'm pissy. And if jmf doesn't stop sneezing in a minute, I'm going to stab him in his belly button with a letter opener that Chairman BA gave me when I was his intern. I've got it in my bag today.

Seriously, JMF, knock it the hell off. Bastard.

Man I'm pissy. Sorry. I'm sick.

dts

NV Legislature

I'm getting tired of this place. It's beginning to drag. Have a constant minor headache when I'm in the building. The Senate pisses me off. I'm dreading the Allen v. Townsend steel cage match on HOA's that is soon to come. Hope we end on time, but frankly I think the fates are against us.

C&L sucks. Floor sucks. 3rd house is going to suck.

foa

Memorial day in CC---shouldn’t we be at a lake somewhere?

Oh…that was a great dts entry on making the assembly floor a baseball stadium. I love the organ, beer and hot dog idea. I’m game!! Who do I need to convince?

Glad to hear that jmf’s mom is on her way out. Frankly, I’m confident she’s a great lady….probably the salt of the earth. But, no man jmf’s age should be living with his mother. It’s unhealthy.

As for me, I had a nice, short weekend. My grandma is looking much better. She was at the St. Rose hospital on warm springs…it’s a brand new hospital. Grandma said she was in the lap of luxury….her own room, cable TV, high speed wireless internet, a sofa with a pull out bed…etc. Sounds puh-ley-shul !

Guess if you gotta go to the hospital…St. Rose is where to go.

Mom came to visit grandma (her ex-mother-in-law) and brought some fruit. FYI: It can be found in my office. Mom didn’t stay very long…she left after church Sunday…I didn’t even get in till the evening of Saturday….

Adjurning….wooo hooo!

I’ll check in later…

And Bingo was his name-o

Good grief she talks fast on the Assembly Floor! I think you have to train for a marathon to do that job. I don't think she ever takes a breath! Maybe she doesn't breath oxygen. Maybe she breathes nitrogen and chews on that nitrogen gum like the aliens in Mars Attacks. Only Jack Nicholson could do such a horrible movie and still have credibility. I mean, really, Jim Brown was in it wearing a gladiator costume. Tom Jones was in it . . . singing and dancing . . . as part of the actual plot of the movie. An alien actually imitated Tom Jones, and Jack Nicholson was in that movie, and got more work afterwards. Amazing.

I think I took a beating yesterday in the progress of things that mattered. AB 63 is having a hard time on the other side . . . it's choking . . . someone please give AB 63 some oxygen and not that nitrogen gum. AB 63 cannot survive on that nitrogen gum.

I REALLY need to move. Even though mom is officially out as of this weekend, and I'm OH SO looking forward to having my house back, I cannot stand my neighbors. That whole shared entry way thing is nonsense. I live in between Fred Sanford and Dusty Dusthole. Balls.

And that's all I have to say about that.

jmf

An open letter to the Speaker

Dear Speaker:

I am bored. Floor was to start at ten, so I got here at ten. And at ten, nothing was going on except for commerce and labor. But I don't care about green building standards. But nevertheless, I was here for the cause.

But Commerce ended forty-five minutes ago. Actually, fifty minutes ago now that I've waited five minutes since I typed that last sentence. And I'm just sitting here. Sure, I'm among friends. But damn, Speaker.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this:

• I
• Am
• Bored

And I miss my dog. She is a very cute little animal and would really like to see me. After I got home last night she was sleeping. Not to mention my S.O., who more or less hates you because of all of this. I try and tell her it's not your fault, but she doesn't listen. The dog is more direct -- she is just pissed at me. And as an expression thereof, eats my socks.

I have very few socks and will be sending you a bill.

This saturday work schedule has clearly impeded your members' judgment. I'm pretty sure foa is down there wearing a ringer tee with a sport coat. Another member, hsg, is wearing soem cxrazy-ass lime green jacket. The minority leader is wearing a polo shirt that is... well... form-fitting.

And me, I'm still here. I'm here watching Sen. Budweiser bloviate about one thing or another -- the sound is off. But I'm keeping an eye on Sen. Finance, which I can't be at, because you started your floor session 75 minutes late.

I guess what I'm asking for here, Speaker, is that we just keep things running a little more tightly. Or perhaps you could install a scoreboard or something. In fact, it would be great if there were an organist up here, like at a ball game. And some cheerleaders, maybe a dance squad, doing stunts in the well between the members and the Chief Clerk's Rostrum.

Further, a guy up here selling beers would be fan-tastic!

Thank you for your time.

dts

OMG

I'm still here in Cartoon City on SATURDAY. Nuts, this sucks. My mom is at my house in LV by herself....hanging out by herself....

Still in C&L committee, floor was supposed to convene at 10am...but we are still in C&L. Balls. I wanna go home.

foa

Verbally Slapped.

Ok. So I lost a vote a little bit ago -- nothing new, really, and I had sort of figured I'd lose it as the big lady dropped the hammer on all my allies on the vote. But then, as I was working the e-mails from the gallery -- because they didn't show the amendment to anybody until after floor had already started.

Anyway, so I'm in leadership after the votes, eating some raisins from the receptionist's trail mix. I occasionally do these things.

So I'm there, chatting with another lobbyist, and the minileader comes in. Minileader looks at me and sasy "nice e-mails you sent to my caucus members, Dylan. You know, the one that didn't tell the truth."

That's right, I got called a liar in front of my colleagues by a legislator. It was freaking awesome. So I asked him to tell me where I had said something untrue, but he said "read the amendment." Anyway, I said "I did read the amendment" and he said "Well, then you know your e-mail wasn't true."

Then he walked away form me. Big man.

Anyway, I didn't know what to do and it made me very sad. So I went upstairs and sent him an e-mail asking me where I had gone wrong. He did not reply. Seriously, if he actually thinks I was lying about something, I'd sure like to know what I had been lying about. What could have made it worth saying that to me in front of a bunch of people?

dts

SJR 2

I'm gonna vote for Mr. Raggio's "merit selection of judges" bill. Against my better judgment. And i'll probably not get anything in return. Balls.

foa

Order of Business 15.

Thank you madam Speaker, today I rise in support of somebody bringing me a sandwich up in the upper gallery. I am hungry. And would like a sandwich.

I encourage my colleagues to vote in favor of this motion.

WAY TO GO!

WOO HOO MISSILE LAUNCHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm hungry.

Somebody should bring me a big, healthy pizza.

Actually, Trader Joe's has a whole-wheat pizza dough they sell. Sometimes, I buy it and I'll make a sauce and cook it onto the crust, but not include any cheese. Veggies, though -- I do love the veggies. You should try that.

Woo! Look, we won more stuff. Also, double congrats to FOA and SSN, somehow, for besting me in the personal scores area. NEXT YEAR we will all win in each category. That's right, I said it. That's the challenge.

dts

This entry becomes effective upon passage.

Why am I still here today? Well, if for no other reason than to give you guys an update as to what craziness has been going on in my head.

I've been formally approved for the Vegas house, and I have to send them a check for a lot of money -- one month's rent AND an additional half-month's rent as a deposit for Cocoa. THEN, of course, I have to give them the first month's rent. That's absurd. ABSURD! Also I'm broke.

This weekend was my friend/former assistant NB's graduation party. I didn't know what to get her for graduation, so in addition to doing all the cooking at the party, I also gave her $100, which seems to be the standard amount one gives when one doesn't know what kind of gift to give for a major life event. Anyway, I had fun, but not because of NB or her family, but because I got to hang out with CB.

I had the spicy cashew nuts at the basil today at lunch time. I like the spicy cashew nuts, but now I feel full and gross and blah.

Anyway, I'm done for now, nothing funny in my head.

Friday already?

Today is Friday, already.

I was going to go to Tahoe this weekend with the family -- but then it occured to me that my best friend (BF) is in town. She could come to Tahoe, too, ordinarily. But then other things happened. See, my best friend's little sister used to work for me. This is important news for many of you who read this (and by that I mean, JMF).

So I once made the mistake of hiring my best friend's little sister. She was a hard worker and all, but, still, I probably should had hired somebody I could've fired if I didn't like. See?

(So I just looked at Bill Tracking and all the bills I was tracking today are now... not on any agendas. Awesome.)

Well, anyhoo, the best friend's little sister (the BFLS) is graduating from college this weekend. And BF decided to have a big fancy graduation party for BFLS. While BFLS and I are close, I don't care much for parties that create an awkward intermingling of people's close friends, family, and liquor. Sorry, I'm just not comfortable drinking 'round other peoples' families.

So anyway, when BF decided to invite me to her sister's party, I told her no way, Jose (actually, her name is 'Stina, but for the purposes of that remark, it was Jose). See, there's things I like to do and things I don't like to do and I didn't feel compelled, at the time, to participate in something I wouldn't have liked.

Ugh. But then she got all "I'll show that dts what's what" on me. The next day, I have a sad BFLS on my voicemail saying "I know 'Stina invited you, but I wanted to invite you myself because it's really important to me that you come."

Stupid people and their life events expecting me to be all bla bla bla bla bla bla WHATEVER! I'm gonna go, probably, and I'm gonna have to find some kind of non-alcohol related gift. Something funny. Or cash. I'm not entirely sure which one would be better at this point. Probably the cash, because she's an english major and is back working at starbucks these days.

SO not fair of my best friend, by the way, to go all nuclear on me and have the sister call with some sob story. I do giving her points, though, for knowing almost exactly what it would take to make me cave. But still...

dts

A child is more important than an animal

NONSENSE! Mr. Chair, I respectfully disagree! I don't get nervous when dogs run around my knees. But little kid types running around my knees terrify me! I'm always afraid I might step on them or accidentally kick them. I have had 3 knee surgeries and I don't like things capable of recklessly carry sharp objects at my knee level. Besides, I never have to wipe my doggies behinds, I never have to wipe their noses, they hardly cry, and when they do, its for a good reason. I could go on and on.

Random thoughts:

* Mom is moving out finally. Well, supposedly. She finally had the tile put in, and the carpet should be installed today. The movers come tomorrow to drop off her stuff from storage. BUT that doesn't mean Mom will actually move in. NOOOOOOooooooooo. I'm sure she will need help putting the bed together. Then arranging furniture. Then stocking the cabinets. Then again, she does have a yorkiepoo waiting to be picked up so she's probably eager. Yes, I said Yorkiepoo. A Yorkshire Terrier mixed with a toy Poodle, and they are making a breed out of it. Yorkiepoo, people, Yorkiepoo.

"He knows he's a mongrel and only worth a couple of injections." I've GOT to find a use for that quote. Mr. Mortenson looks like the Architect from the Matrix series to me. He used great quotes in that movie to. You gotta love a movie character who can legitimately use the word "ergo" more than once in casual conversation. I also hate really uncouth neighbors who want to shoot your 75 cent dog.

* "The pet rabbit that got ran over by the stationary bicycle." I've also got to find a use for that. I love Assembly Judiciary.

* I am officially a member of the Brotherhood of Red's. I have drank 101 different kinds of beers there. Probably why I didn't lose a pound. Actually, I didn't drink 101. On Tuesdays, you can get 2 for 1 hole punches in your membership card so I probably drank more like 65. I got a t-shirt, we get our names on a plaque, and our waitress tore up paper so that we could have confetti. It was great. I feel like a true champion. My work here is done.

* I REALLY want to move out of my house. I live 32 miles from DTS's house, 20 miles from the spaghetti bowl, entirely with the flow of some of the worst traffic in Las Vegas off 95 and Durango. Yes, one exit short of the Mt. Charleston turnoff. I don't mind any of that though. I cannot stand my neighbors! I live in a shared entryway home and I have one neighbor who totally disregards the fact that we all have to share the same driveway. He has FIVE cars, only one of which generally works. He constantly blocks the driveway. He actually got into it with my mom over that. He leaves his huge dog outside without a leash and it poops all over my front yard, and chews up my bush drippers. There's a house near work off Oakey that I would really like, but its way over priced. It's a 2300 sq ft home on nearly a quarter acre, with a pool, 5 minutes from work. They want 450K for it. That's way too much. It may be worth 400K, or just over 400K, and I still couldn't afford that, but 450K is just silly. I may still look at some smaller homes in that area.

* Those kids outside of the hearing room make me feel like fish in a fishbowl, or animals in an exhibit.

* Those kids looking at us zoo animals just came in. They are all around my knees making me all nervous. I have got to get outta here. Will be back sometime soon.

jmf

too full....

Now i've stuffed my face. Ate in the caucus room. Salad, Quesidilla...and tortilla soup. Full, very full. Blah.

Back in Assembly Judiciary

Didn't eat breakfast...now I'm quite hungery...and I'm probably gonna eat something bad for me. Frankly things have been going downhill since NV challange ended. I've been using the elevators, eating dessert....haven't been to the gym as much. Bad bad news.

It's anti-tort reform day in Assembly Judiciary. NTLA is all over the place. They brought the big guns in….Bill Bradley is here.

I had a nice weekend in LV…too short as usual. Went to the Henderson Art Fair on Saturday and walked around in the sun. My shoulders got burned to a crisp, but since I’m ethic…within 24 hours the burn turned into a nice brown tan. After some aloe TLC and a nice long nap. Golfed Sunday AM in LV….just an executive course since it was mothers day and spent the bulk of the day with my ailing grandma.

Grandma is not doing real well; they may be admitting her into the hospital as I type. They tried to admit her last Thursday but she objected vehemently…and claimed to be on the mend. But that’s just not the case. She’s having all sort of gastro-intestinally issues. Nausea, vomiting…etc. She can’t keep anything down…she’s eating may be 500 forced calories a day. It is worrisome.

I’ve had the checkerboard on my ticket more than once since 9-11. Perhaps cuz I’m ethnic looking. I’ve had it at LAX, Burbank and Reno. Guess the TSA skips white men. Guess TSA didn’t pay attention to Okalahoma City federal building bombing and WACO. White men are nuttier than most!

DTS all the flights on Sunday out of LV to Reno are chalked full of Carson City types. I was on the 8:45 and half the plane was lawyer/lobbyist. From about 3pm till the last flight….legislative people are plentiful

Wow…that house you put a deposit on might as well be in California. Very far from AD-4. But at least it’s not too far from your new office.

Buddy is lonely....will spend more time with him this week.

I'm now at the airport.

I had a great weekend. I like that McCarran has the free wireless internet now. You still have to pay at the Reno airport. There are legislators on my flight -- I should have asked foa which flights would have legislators. It's not that I don't like legislators; but they don't want to see me any more than I see them.

Anyway, I've got another batch of random sunday night thoughts for my bloggary peeps.

• There's a new style for women this summer, apparently, of knee-length shorts. They look like pantaloons and I can't look at somebody who is wearing them without sort of laughing in my said. I'm not sure why I find them so ridiculous, but much in the same way a baby rhinocerous looks ridiculous, as do these shorts.
• Since September 11th, 2001 I've taken probably 75 plane flights. But only once did I have the funny checkberboard thing that requires the mandatory screening. I am glad. I'm not sure what I did to get on a good list. Probably just by virtue of my whiteness.
• Remember Gulliver's Travels? I liked that book when I was in high school. Satire is awesome. Also, satire is mostly dead in the modern world. You may cite satire in shows like the Colbert Report and/or The Daily Show. But I don't really think that cynical sarcasm is really satire; funny -- but not satire. Satire has a certain subtlety that modern media all but prohibits. And that's my rant about satire.
• I put in an application to rent this house in the middle of nowhere this weekend. It's like if you were heading south on Las Vegas Boulevard and you went forever you'd get to the Southpoint. Then drive for a few more miles, and think "hey, I'm really in the middle of nowhere." Turn right. Turn left. Then there's my house.
• Another Senator just showed up. Where are these people coming from?
• There are 38 people in Guantanamo Bay that the military and CIA have classified as "NLEC", meaning "No Longer Enemy Combatants." These are people who, essentially, the military has admitted had nothing to do with the Taliban or Al Qaida, and they never did (sp? How do I not know how to spell that? qaeda? qaida?).
• I am glad I got to visit. I got to see my best friend in the whole wide world. The fact she lives in Las Vegas makes this move a lot easier for me. By contrast, my friend from college is coming to Northern Nevada, and I have no desire to see her. Sometimes I just don't want to see my friends.
• Anyway, I'm very dried out being in Vegas. I need to drink more water and less booze, probably. Anyway, I'm going to go now. Goodbye.

Everybody must eat scones.

I like scones. I just ate one at Panera Bread in Las Vegas. Also, I'm using their free wi-fi. Turns out this place is right by my office. It's like a nirvana; a sterile, corporate nirvana -- but a nirvana nevertheless.

That's right. I just compared a sandwich shop to eternal bliss. What are you gonna do about it?

dts

Homework

So the chairman of judiciary has passed out a written poll to all the member of the judiciary committee asking for our opinion on all the bills pending in Judiciary. We have 5 choices for each bill:

a) Like the bill as it is-put in work session.
b) Like the bill but needs amendment-work session.
c) Don’t really care about the bill.
d) Will not vote in favor of the bill.
e) Leave the bill on the board; don’t want to vote on it.


Our responses are due to the Chairman on or before Monday the 14th.

….why do I feel like one of his high school students….

Woo!

So the one I was gonna lose yesterday, I actualy came out OK. I just wanted to give you theheads up.

I also wanted to ask, why does my laptop suck so bad? Did HP put together a laptop they knew would piss me off? I do this thing in committee whereby I e-mail questions to my relationships on the panel. Well, I'm writing a thousand different e-mails and in the middle my whole internet setup fell apart. I restarted about a thousand times. And it never got better -- internet explore and outlook kept crashing; over and over and over again. Repeatedly. I'd tryand restart just he programs and the computer would just freeze up and freak out.

So now i'm on my boss' laptop, which is similar to the tiny little thing that FOA carries around from time to time. They small keyboard takes some getting used to; but the batteryl ife is fantastic. I'm thinking of switching to an apple iBook when I get back to Vegas. MY desktop is a mac and has lasted forever. After six years now it's just starting to give out.

Anyway, JMF, you're not the only one blogging.

dts

Losing one.

So tomorrow I'm going to lose a bill. This is my first real big loss this session -- and I'm not sure what to do. Anyway, nobody likes to lose. I try and make it a habit not to. Anyway, this is sort of annoying me.

dts

Party affiliation second guessing

The ACLU has almost made me switch parties. Well, not really, but they have royally ticked me off and earned their way on my "list." Aside from Turco's offensive comment, little miss sunshine who usually testifies from down south sent out an email to select folks and apparently neglected to delete my name from the list. She asked for an opinion on a bill...."a real defense, namely the NACJ" opinion as opposed to the voices that gave rise to the compromise language. Why in the heck would she send that to me????

grrrrrrrrrr

jmf

My re-introduction to the north

. . . so, as I was preparing for this year's legislative session, I met with several important people. You know, legislative types and their staff. I had a very interesting meeting with one particular staff person of one particular important person. Said staff person is no longer employed in that capacity. Anyway, we were meeting to discuss the child death fatality issue in Clark County. During the discussion, it was mentioned that there may have been more child deaths due to neglect that weren't readily apparent. The point that was being made was that some children may have died due to long term nutritional neglect, or unrecognized medical complications that weren't clearly the cause of death, but might have been. This particular staff person replied, "Oh, yeah, well you know those black babies don't bruise so you can't tell they were abused." My jaw dropped as I surveyed the room to see who else noticed the comment. I panned around the room to find most weren't phased. My colleague across the table from my had her jaw on the table, and one of our contract folks just stared at me as if to say, "Please don't curse her out." As we left, we were preparing to meet with Senator Washington. I softly asked the others if, when we got with Senator Washington, they could leave me alone with him for a few minutes. Confused, they asked why. I said that I was going to beat the **** out of him and see if they could notice the bruises. I miss the north so badly.

jmf

Mimosas

Dear Bloggary,

I'M SO TIRED. I must be getting old. This past weekend, I went home on Friday, met coworkers after work, went to see Spiderman, came home to find my drunk friends already at my house, one of whom was passed out on my couch, woke up and made mimosas. Is that how you spell it? Anyway, we had those champagne-OJ drinks. I made breakfast for them and they tricked me into going to get a pedicure. NO, I wasn't the only guy. I also wasn't impressed with this whole pedicure thing. Some small woman approaching my toesies with sharp instruments. The massage chair ALMOST made me forget my fear of losing a pinky toe to one of those sharp instruments. I watched basketball with a very attractive coworker and her son. My mother decided to join us in the living room and would not leave my side until my friend was gone. I'm definitely paying for something bad I did in a past life until my mom moves out. Then I watched the fight at a coworkers house Sat night. Had a drink with the ex later and went home. Slept in on Sunday, had dinner at my realtors house with a bunch of her friends. That was cool. I LOVE my realtor. She is a Jehovah's Witness so I doubt we could ever work.

story to come re: my conversation with dts today . . . .

jmf

Just weight out.

And I lost twelve pounds in sort of an ironic way. I'm not sure that my percentage body fat changed that much; but simultaneously, I did lose inches around my waist and hips. Originally, my body fat percentage was at 23.7; now it's at 22.0 -- a loss of 1.7 percent. BUT, my previous fat weight was 49.3 pounds. A 1.7% decrease in fat weight would be less than one pound. So the other eleven pounds I lost would have all been from muscle. HOWEVER, in order to lose that kind of muscle, it would have had to bee replaced with fat which actually takes up more room than muscle -- therefore, I would've added inches. From all logical accounts, and knowing any of the science behind body weight, one of the following must be true:

• My percent body fat was mis-read the first time.
• My body fat was mis-read the second time.
• My whole understanding of science is incorrect, as was Drs. Henry and Regin.

Anyway, WOOO! GO missle hurlers! We're about to win. Make sure SSN puts in points.

dts

yummy

The cookie man just walked into Judiciary with a big bin of cookies!!! I'm going to take my share and eat them AFTER my 4:45 weight in this afternoon.

Had I known I was going to weight today...I wouldn't have drank Margaritas and gorged myself on Mexican food last night. Just signed up for the full check up on the Nevada challenge website.

FOA

Australian Red Claw Crayfish

Oh have I been missing out on fun times in Assembly Natural Resources! Earl, did you know that Australian Red Claw Crayfish could endanger various species of fish throughout the State of Nevada?? Did you know, Earl, that the Australian Red Claw Crayfish can only survive in water with temperatures no lower than 50 degrees? The Australian Red Claw Crayfish is on the prohibited species list, as is the New Zealand Mud Slug. I also learned that in Nevada we have these things called hot cricks. I'm not even sure if that's how you spell crick. Earl, did you know that according to Senator Beers the Assembly Natural Resources committee is, like the Australian Red Claw Crayfish, an invasive species? I'm fairly sure Mr. Carpenter and Mr. Marvel caught a couple snoozes throughout this riveting testimony. Mr. Carpenter asked me if I was here to defend the Australian Red Claw Crayfish. Ha ha very funny Mr. Carpenter. I told him I was here to clean the air! Which, I am. I get the most interesting duties when it comes to non criminal matters. I get to present a bill dealing with Dusty the Dust Hole. Woohoo!!!!! Oh wait, now I have to wait for this other bill called out of order dealing with some kind of consortium. I tune out when I hear the word "consortium". I must have been hypnotized at one of those student programming events where they hired a hypnotist. It's coming back to me now like a roofie wearing off . . . . "when I snap my finger, you will have a mental block whenever the word consortium is used. You will block it out and obsess over things such as Australian Red Claw Crayfish. SNAP!!!"

OH GAWD . . . I zoned out and when I came to, they were still talking in terms of a "consortium."

Assemblyman Bobzien was really intrigued by the Australian Red Claw Crayfish. I think Assemblyman Carpenter is about to leave the room again. Maybe he has a mental block with the word "consortium" too. WHOA. I think this presenters name is Hymenson. That would SUCK.

Joe Turco offended me yesterday and I doubt he even realized it. He commented about just following up other people's testimony so I responded that he (and others) let me get beat up and then just give a ditto or something. He said, "yeah, I just let you f*ck up and then I follow up the right way" or something along those lines. Pissed me off so badly I had to get up and walk away. Dayum ACLU. It wouldn't be the first time I realized I was that guy in line when the drill seargent said, "step forward" and everyone else stepped back. However, it was the first time someone shameless admitted it, while simultaneously criticizing me.

Is it obvious I'm in a bad mood today? I am. Allergies I think. Maybe ground up Australian Red Claw Crayfish claws help with allergies. You never know! The Chinese say shark fins work wonders! I need a nap.

jmf

dts is hungry.

One of my first e-mail addresses was DTSisCool. It really conveyed a message, I thought . First and foremost, was that I was dts. Second, though just as important, was that in my own assessment, I was pretty cool.

Anyway, right now, DTSisHungry. And Hollowhead is talking in Senate Judiciary. And boy he just keeps going. And the Chairman is looking at the door as if he were mentally preparing to dash for the exit. I am doing the same.

There are bagels upstairs. And I love bagels; and the event is being hosted by my friends. But I've got lunch plans with a friend of mine. And bagels are bad for the ol' waistline. Woo! Go team Go! Even though the challenge is over!!

dts

dts is hungry.

One of my first e-mail addresses was DTSisCool. It really conveyed a message, I thought . First and foremost, was that I was dts. Second, though just as important, was that in my own assessment, I was pretty cool.

Anyway, right now, DTSisHungry. And Hollowhead is talking in Senate Judiciary. And boy he just keeps going. And the Chairman is looking at the door as if he were mentally preparing to dash for the exit. I am doing the same.

There are bagels upstairs. And I love bagels; and the event is being hosted by my friends. But I've got lunch plans with a friend of mine. And bagels are bad for the ol' waistline. Woo! Go team Go! Even though the challenge is over!!