An open letter to the Speaker

Dear Speaker:

I am bored. Floor was to start at ten, so I got here at ten. And at ten, nothing was going on except for commerce and labor. But I don't care about green building standards. But nevertheless, I was here for the cause.

But Commerce ended forty-five minutes ago. Actually, fifty minutes ago now that I've waited five minutes since I typed that last sentence. And I'm just sitting here. Sure, I'm among friends. But damn, Speaker.

I guess what I'm trying to say is this:

• I
• Am
• Bored

And I miss my dog. She is a very cute little animal and would really like to see me. After I got home last night she was sleeping. Not to mention my S.O., who more or less hates you because of all of this. I try and tell her it's not your fault, but she doesn't listen. The dog is more direct -- she is just pissed at me. And as an expression thereof, eats my socks.

I have very few socks and will be sending you a bill.

This saturday work schedule has clearly impeded your members' judgment. I'm pretty sure foa is down there wearing a ringer tee with a sport coat. Another member, hsg, is wearing soem cxrazy-ass lime green jacket. The minority leader is wearing a polo shirt that is... well... form-fitting.

And me, I'm still here. I'm here watching Sen. Budweiser bloviate about one thing or another -- the sound is off. But I'm keeping an eye on Sen. Finance, which I can't be at, because you started your floor session 75 minutes late.

I guess what I'm asking for here, Speaker, is that we just keep things running a little more tightly. Or perhaps you could install a scoreboard or something. In fact, it would be great if there were an organist up here, like at a ball game. And some cheerleaders, maybe a dance squad, doing stunts in the well between the members and the Chief Clerk's Rostrum.

Further, a guy up here selling beers would be fan-tastic!

Thank you for your time.

dts